Congregation Beth Shalom

Torah Portion: Yitro
Book of Exodus
Chaps. 18:1-20:22
February 10, 2012

The commandment is not “Thou Shall Not Kill,” but “Thou Shall Not Murder.” There is a significant difference.  Even though Judaism holds the sacredness of life above all else, it still recognizes there are times when one must kill-in defense of one’s life, people, and nation.  What is forbidden is murder whose dictionary definition is “the unlawful and premeditated killing of one human being by another.” The ancient rabbis understood “murder” in a broader sense.

The Eitz Hayim Humash (Pentateuch) notes, “The sages understood “bloodshed” to include embarrassing a fellow human being in public so that the blood drains from his or her face, not providing safety for travelers, and causing anyone the loss of his or her livelihood.”  The medieval Jewish Bible scholar Abraham Ibn Ezra reflects this same thought when he writes, “One may murder with the hand or with the tongue, by tale-bearing or by character assassination.”

One of the great Jewish ethicists was Rabbi Yisrael Meir Kagan (1838-1933) of today’s Belarus.  He was known popularly as the “Hofetz Chayim” (he who desires life).  Literally, a “legend in his own time,” he became the subject of countless stories and tales.  One such story tells of  the Chofetz Chayim and another Rabbi who were eating in an inn renowned for its food. The innkeeper, realizing that he had two illustrious guests, did all he could to serve them the finest meal. As the dessert was being brought out, the innkeeper asked them, "How did you like the meal?" The Chofetz Chayim complimented the innkeeper and his cook, and thanked them warmly. The other Rabbi however mentioned that the soup could have used a little more salt. The Chofetz Chayim turned white. "My whole life I have managed to avoid hearing Loshon Hara (hurtful speech) and here you have just spoken Loshon Hara."

"What are you talking about?", asked his companion skeptically.

The Chofetz Chayim described the scene that must be going on in the kitchen right now. "The cook is probably a poor widow and the innkeeper is chastising her for not putting salt in the soup and thereby ruining the meal of his illustrious guests. He is probably screaming at her and ready to fire her over the incident. Besides, you have also violated six injunctions: 1) You spoke Loshon Hara.  2) You caused others to hear it. 3) You caused the owner to repeat it (rechilut/gossip). 4) You caused the cook to lie, saying that she did put salt in the soup in order to save face. 5) The owner caused pain to a widow. 6) You caused an argument."

The other Rabbi smiled. "Surely you are exaggerating."

"Let's go see", said the Chofetz Chayim.

They went together into the kitchen to find the innkeeper berating the poor cook for her stupid mistake. The second Rabbi, realizing his blunder, begged the innkeeper to keep the cook assuring him that the soup was quite good, and the rest of the meal extraordinary, and promised that he would always stop to eat at this inn on all his journeys.

In 1839, English author Edward Bulwer-Lytton coined the phrase “the pen is mightier than the sword.”  The Chofetz Chayim suggests it’s better understood as “the tongue is at least as hurtful as the sword.”  How often have we used premeditative words to hurt another.  Destroying one’s self-esteem can be as deadly as murder.

Rabbi Howard Siegel